Jill Rees: Welcome Press

Recent rumours that I am not a pedigree are completely untrue. However I must add, and this is very important, that if, as has been claimed, I were indeed a mongrel, this would not and should not have any bearing on my message, nor should it affect anyone’s interpretation fo my character. As I continue to reiterate, all dogs are equal, no matter what their breed.

It may be that pedigrees such as myself have the benefit of better educational opportunities, more time spent on grooming and eternally tempting morsels in the food department. However, there are also disadvantages. You have to remember that my owners are always working and have less and less time for walkies and playing as the credit crunch deepens.

Sometimes I watch the mongrels in the park with their ill-dressed anoracked poverty-stricken unemployed owners, sniffing each others’ bottoms and shitting all over the Sunday League football pitch, something I would never be allowed to do, and I envy them, yes I do. Though their owners are poor, they spend all the money they have left over from cigarettes on their dogs, who have lots of new toys to catch and fetch all the time.

Also where my owners are of course themselves well-trained, and ensure I am not the dominant one in the pack by a variety or ploys intended to humiliate me and put me in my place, the mongrels in the park are often with divorced middle-aged women who regard them as the ‘man of the house’ and they are allowed to dominate their packs and do whatever they like. They even get to eat chocolate biscuits, which my owners have read are bad for dogs so I only ever get any at Christmas from Grandma, who says she ‘can’t resist my big brown eyes’. Just imagine how spoiled I would be if my owners couldn’t read or afford to buy books!

To focus on policy, my main point for today is that dog fighting is wrong in nearly all circumstances, and this is a case where owners should take a firm stand.

Packs of dogs have been permitted to frolic in the park for too long, and many are traipsing home injured, sometimes all too often beyond the vets’ ability to help them. This is unacceptable. No-one is winning, nor are they ever likely to win. It is impossible to say what would even be gained by winning, since all we want to do in the first place is mess around in the park, and this endless fighting is ruining the very environment we want to keep for ourselves.

I therefore propose a complete withdrawal from the park fight area. Dog wardens will be sent out there to assist with the withdrawal, and any dogs found still fighting will be treated as strays and taken to the pound. My rival ‘Boxer’ says it would signal cowardly defeat to stop fighting and says that dogs must be left to run free, but I say ‘no!’ this is not freedom. Freedom is the right to play in the park, and not to live in the fear of going for walks there.

Also you must remember that whereas we dogs enjoy a good scrap, our bitches (with the exception of Pitbull Palin) are frightened of violence, and get upset when we come home scarred and beaten. It is also a very poor model of behaviour for our puppies,

At this time, it is right to stop fighting right now, even if it means leaving the playing field with our tails between our legs. When I am elected to the Doghouse, I will see to it that the fighting is stopped immediately.

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