Baby turtles.

Rocket Mole here. This is a nifty wee strip from the magnificent Cyanide and Happiness. Two words that rarely coincidence. <—– I can spoke good England.

Thanks Strangely

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Tags: babies, baby turtles, babycare, babyfood, cartoons, cyanide and happiness, Happiness, Strangely, turtles.

Here is a collection of short stories which I hope you will find enjoyable. They are by no means above comment and are subject to further editing, so please feel free to send feedback to the author, especially if it is constructive.

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Пейо Яворов
• Feb. 15th, 2008 at 4:43 PM

Душата ми е пуста…

Душата ми е пуста: буря кратка
помете всичко там. Напразно вече
следа бих дирил от мечтата сладка
по тебе, образ потъмнял! Далече,
цял век далече са от мен
миражите на вчерашния ден.

Все пак аз помня: ти дойде желана,
дойде с душа лист още неизписан,
лист бяла книга. В своя вехта рана
перо намокрих: в спомени улисан,
посегнах аз и писах без покой,
от болка се превивах –
и писах с кръв и гной.

Че ти не бе живяла – а живота
бе мене пък задавил. И той свари
с проклети писмена на богоскота
душата ти чрез мене да нашари.
Перо послушно – копие на цар…
Раних аз твоя дух и своя чар.

В очакване, боязън непонятна
владееше предчувствията мои;
изгубих те – пустиня необятна…
Чух змийски съсък в спомените свои.

Перо послушно, копие на цар! –
Раних аз твоя дух, убих и своя чар.

Пейо Яворов,
Безсъници

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Yesterday we visited the synagogue here in Sofia. It is Sephardic and reminiscent of the synagogue in Prague with one small difference - the congregation were not sent to the concentration camps. Hurrah, everyone is still here! and gave us a friendly and warm welcome, even one young man directing us to humous finding afterwards in the Women’s market.

Apparently this was a bit neglected during the Communist occupation, as they disapproved of religions, but has been renovated since with an amazing chandaleer and starry ceiling. Speaking of religions, Tony Blair today gave a speech saying that religions should play a more prominent role in politics. Oh no Tony, it depends which religion surely? If you mean my religion, that’s fine, but I don’t think your religion should be allowed to be mentionned or indeed practised at all by anyone who even considers going into politics. It’s too weird. Thou shalt not kill except by airial bombing I have so much difficulty with.

Although I like my religion, after this visit both Amanda and I felt like converting to Judaism, as the atmosphere inside the synagogue was so warm and lovely, with an effervescent feeling of joy. I bought a cd of Sephardic Jew-mewzik for my freind Joel, so now I’ll have to visit! Here is a link if you are a Jewish traveller, or want to acquire humous and such wherever you are. http://destinations.jewishtraveller.co.uk/index.jsp?cid=88075&action=viewLocation&formId=104265

Now here’s a sight you don’t see every day, Amanda visiting a fruit market! Yes the Halite named after Les Halles in Paris which looks nothing like this, this too was dilapidated by the Communists and recently rebuilt. The freshly squeezed orange juice is freshly squeezed, unlike every other juice in Bulgaria, which is manufactured using 60s chemicals which they think is cool. No doubt this is the fault of the Communists too ey Bulgarians?

Just to prove that, unbeknownst to the chef at the Panorama Hotel Sandanski, Bulgaria does have markets where it is possible to purchase, very very cheaply, delicious fresh organic locally grown vegetables. In Sofia famously at what is known as the Women’s Market, or the Moslem market, as they sell everything from Halva to Tahini, and all the Bulgarian white, goat’s or sheep, cheeses and so on, but for good fresh Humous, you still need to go on down to the book market at Slaveykov Square (spelt anyway you fucking like apparently) and, after purchasing
books in English for a fairly extortionate price in my view considering the condition they are in, peeop round the corner to the Baalbek Kebab shop. As the young man serving says, ‘We have EVERYTHING’. It is true, although he only let me see the menu, which is in English, after I had asked for a dish of Humous to take out and a kofte kebab with lamb and beef. It was truly delicious I kid you not. The Baalbek is on Wikipaedia as well as several chat sights for travellers, which Amanda found after googling ‘Humous Sofia’, and lives up to its excellent reputation. It is almost worth visiting Sofia for. Which reminds me, in case Wart ever visits this page, there are Subways in Sofia!!!!!!!!!!! But why bother when you can come and get a kebab here?

Finally, after all that culture, I visited the so called museum of the Bulgarian Poet and revolutionary, Peyu Yavarov,who fought for macedonian freedom, and was famous for his symbolist poems, none of which I can find on the net or anywhere in English. Despite allegedly being open until 5pm, it was locked, and someone had put an empty drink carton on his statue. After fighting for the Macedonian cause, he fell in love with a girl, who died, and met his future wife at her graveside in Paris. After a stormy few years in love and passion, she shot herself during a row and he managed eventually, after merely blinding himself the first time, to shoot himself too. This reminded me that the poet’s life is often crap right until the end and I mustn’t complain.

Finally, before getting completely lost looking for the bus stop in all the one-way streets, broken bus stop signs and cyrillic alphabet, I visited the museum of the other Bulgarian writer, Ivan Vazov. He actually has a post in Wikipedia in English http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Vazov and also was a revolutionary, fighting for Bulgarian freedom from the Ottomans.

I found his house, which has a plaque in cyrillic obviously which I can now read just about. I tried to batter the door down, thinking it was jammed, as it had the visiting hours on it. Eventually an ancient woman arrived, unlocked it, glowered at me and muttered in Bulgarian something I understood clearly, as she was pointing at the clock on the wall of the building opposite, a fact which I have only just realised is a bit odd in itself, that it was closed. ‘That’s odd,’ I said, pointing to the door, ‘Because it says here it’s open until 5.’ She cursed under her breath and let me in. After realising that I was really interested however, and accepting the inevitablility of not being able to finish early after all, she was helpful. I looked at his photos though of course I couldn’t read everything. His book ‘Under the Yoke’ looks great, about oppression under the Ottomans, and I would like to read it. It has been translated apparently. He received an huge award which is here, a laurel crown with one leaf for each of his greatest achievements. His furniture is just as it was when he died, right here in the lounge, and his study where he used to clump about at night writing, his favourite pet dog standing in front of his desk where he had it, stuffed, after it died suddenly. He wrote with a quill, which too is still here, and it is interesting seeing his handwriting. Again I felt inspired to keep on, as he died in poverty despite being a national hero. Such is life. Muzeltov.

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Tags: Ivan Yazov, Macedonia, Ottomans, Peyu Yavorov, revolutionary poets, Sephardic Jews, synagogue Sofia.

Dinner tonight was a slice of cucumber and half a potato. I kid you not. Lunch was a plate of yogurt soup with a bit of cucumber and a tiny plate of potatoes.I went out to look for a kebab but unfortunately they use the cyrillic alphabet here and I can’t read it very well, couldn’t find any kebabs. I found a restaurant but didn’t have enough bulgarian money for a meal and didn’t understand the menu very well. I suspect a certain ripping off of tourists. This hotel, the Panorama, in Sandinski Bulgaria, is charging 70 euros odd for full board, when living costs are extremely low here, and only feeding us tiny and insufficient food. Strongly advise against this place!!!!!!!! Also they save on other bills, such as heating and hot water. However the cold shower did wonders for my hair. Other great thing is the spa water which you walk down the hill to get in the spa park, a huge park with exotic trees.

Bought two carrots, which we shared among us back at the hotel. Living off Turkish delight. It’s like an upside down Narnia. Without the lions. The others went to swim in the spa pool and one of them got touched up by a Bulgarian man.

Nevertheless going back to SThis travelling does have its down side. The teaching is great, especially as the kids have flu bugs so half the class is missing. hurrah!!!!!

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Tags: Bulgaria, cucumbers, Panorama Hotel, Sandinski.