Jill Rees: Welcome Press

Who do you call ‘Sir’ in Nigeria? It’s baffling to the newcomer, and reveals the delicate structure of levels of authority in Nigerian society.

When I first arrived, I naturally wanted to call my boss ‘Sir’ as a mark of respect. My Nigerian colleague was horrified!

‘He’ll take you for an underling now,’ she said.

In the UK, ‘Sir’ indicates that you regard someone as a gentleman, or that you expect him to behave as a gentleman. It derives from the days of the knights and courtiers. In the Middle Ages, the King, who had absolute rule, was served by his knights. Honourable young men who came from good families or who had performed great and noble deeds, and later of course the sons and nephews of these, merited a place at the King’s side. They were knighted with a touch of the King’s sword on their shoulder and took on the duty of service to the King. (This ceremony still takes place in the UK each year to bestow honour and show gratitude to citizens who have performed an especial service to the nation.) Clad in suits of armour and dashing on horseback through the kingdom, they performed brave deeds and fought courageously in wars. They held a position of great privilege, had free run of the land and had the ‘droit de seigneur‘ which permitted them to sleep with any of the Kingdom’s maidens! Today, the handshake remains from the days when gentlemen would offer their right hand as a greeting to prove they came in friendship and were not carrying the sword.

Gradually ’sir’ came to be used for anyone in the position of authority, which, in the UK, meant property ownership. ‘Gentlemen’ originally meant men who owned property and land. As Britain industrialized, many property owners turned out to be the new rich: factory owners and shipping company proprietors, some of course who made the bulk of their wealth from the lucrative trade in African slaves. As the Victorian era progressed throughout the 19^th century emphasis shifted onto moral values, and ‘gentleman’ and ’sir’ came to develop the moral meaning it has today, when we use ’sir’ as an indication of our respect for a person’s moral status, to show that we recognise him as a man of good character. Beneath this use of ’sir’ lies the belief that values such as honesty, integrity, trustworthiness and fairness are recognised as the true virtues. So we find British people will as often call a doorman or a working man ’sir’, to show him respect as an honest person.

I have heard ’sir’ used in this way in Nigeria too. When status and authority are less of an issue, and the intention is to show simple respect, especially for an older man, and it warms my heart. My colleague, however, ventured the opinion so often offered by Nigerians, that the men in positions of power in this country are not always true gentlemen. Instead, they may be the least developed in terms of honesty, integrity and fair dealing. That’s why, she said, she refuses to call certain people ’sir’.

In Nigeria the demise of the middle classes has led to a widening gap between rich and poor, between those who have good fortune and live comfortably and those who struggle every day, living from hand to mouth. Often workers are so grateful to have even the smallest amount of money, the meagrest of jobs and favours; while those who can, pocket the lion’s share. This means that it is increasingly difficult for ordinary people to work and save, to move jobs, to bargain for a better deal or for greater responsibility, to develop professionally, and even to finish their studies. In the long run, this will lead to a dearth of skilled workers and of educated and capable leaders. If the political will to really bring Nigeria into the 21^st century so that she takes her place as a major African player should ever come about, the workforce required to develop and support the country may no longer exist.

Perhaps the need to consider when to address someone as ’sir’ should be carefully judged. By calling someone ’sir’ and showing him deference, you are disempowering yourself and empowering the other person over you. If he is a true gentleman, he will never use that power against you, but will acknowledge the respect you show him by showing you the same respect. If he is not a true gentleman, you are putting yourself in a position of weakness.

Democracy is the right to choose who has authority over you. We should think carefully before calling someone ’sir’.

790 words

©Jill Rees

6 November 2007

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